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Book Review of Is Marriage for White People?: How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone

Is Marriage for White People?: How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone
niara avatar reviewed on + 5 more book reviews


My 3-star rating is a bit of a misnomer. I can't say that I liked the book as the evidence presented is so bleak. As an African-American woman, it was difficult to read. Rather than be a wake-up call to black men -- that their actions are not just harmful to the black community, but is placing the future of marriage in jeopardy -- he pens that black woman should not look to black men as marriage material; that we should no longer "marry down" -- marry someone from a lower class who may not carry the same values or economic strengths -- but we should "marry out". Basically, consider men who are non-black. This, the author feels, would make the marriage pool for blacks smaller and as a result, strengthen marriages between black men and black women. A very difficult idea to embrace, for many of us black women. "Easier said than done," I can hear my own mother saying.

But you cannot escape the data: Nearly 7 out of 10 black women are unmarried, and as many as 3 out of 10 will never marry.

Fewer than half of all black men are husbands.

College educated black women are no more likely to marry, or stay married, than white women who have only completed high school.

The percentage of black children born to unwed parents exceeds 70% not because single, black women are getting pregnant more often, but because black women are so much more likely to be single.

If what Mr. Banks says is correct -- that the numbers imbalance gives black men the power to dictate the terms of their intimate relationships -- and if they are clearly not marrying, or if they choose to marry, they are marrying non-black females, then perhaps we, as black women, need to consider, or have no choice but to consider, alternatives.

A controversial book that puts all the data first and foremost, and a somewhat simplistic solution, still made for an interesting read. I would recommend this book.