Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings
Author:
Genre: Humor & Entertainment
Book Type: Hardcover
Author:
Genre: Humor & Entertainment
Book Type: Hardcover
*may contain spoilers*
This book was typical Ron Burgundy. Haha. If you hated Anchorman, don't bother because this book was just a wonderfully insane extension of Anchorman. It is full of the completely ridiculous, entirely fabricated 'facts' of Ron Burgundy's life as the classiest big deal around. Ron Burgundy has done it all. He has hunted jackalopes, slept with Barbara Walters, Bruce Lee, and Katie Couric, and killed a man with his bare hands. Okay. I made that last one up, but it is entirely possible. This book is full of decadent nonsense. There is one chapter devoted to 'recipes' for the best types of breath to use in order turn women on by blowing it out hot and heavy on their necks.
For example:
Recipe #1: The Dried-Up Riverbank
Thick, musty, lonesome, and dangerous, that's the smell and feeling of a dried-up riverbank. Women are terrified and turned on by it. How to capture it all in a breathy whisper? Simple. Shrimp dipped in stale beer and hot mayonnaise. Let it sit in your mouth for no less than five minutes; work it into your teeth. This one works from a long way out. Try it in a room full of women and see if any react -- more than likely those who do won't be classy but they'll be moved by a memory long since buried that only the rancid smell of dried mud can recover. If that memory is a pleasant one -- and often it is not -- you are in business, my friend.
Or, my favorite:
Recipe #6: The Animal Lover
Who hasn't seen a beautiful woman come to her knees at the sight of a cute puppy? Oh how I've envied that puppy from time to time. [...] Anyway... what is it about dogs that gets the ladies? Can't be their looks, because most dogs look like a pork roast with eyeballs. [...] Anyway I realized women love dogs because of their breath. "Eat a bowl of dog food, Burgundy," I said to myself one night, and so I did, and sure enough it was like cheating. Women go nuts for dog breath. [...] When it comes to dog food I go right for the hard nuggets right out of a forty-pound bag. A handful will do you for the night.
Ha! Love it.
A must read for Will Ferrell fans... or just fans of the absurd and ridiculous.
This book was typical Ron Burgundy. Haha. If you hated Anchorman, don't bother because this book was just a wonderfully insane extension of Anchorman. It is full of the completely ridiculous, entirely fabricated 'facts' of Ron Burgundy's life as the classiest big deal around. Ron Burgundy has done it all. He has hunted jackalopes, slept with Barbara Walters, Bruce Lee, and Katie Couric, and killed a man with his bare hands. Okay. I made that last one up, but it is entirely possible. This book is full of decadent nonsense. There is one chapter devoted to 'recipes' for the best types of breath to use in order turn women on by blowing it out hot and heavy on their necks.
For example:
Recipe #1: The Dried-Up Riverbank
Thick, musty, lonesome, and dangerous, that's the smell and feeling of a dried-up riverbank. Women are terrified and turned on by it. How to capture it all in a breathy whisper? Simple. Shrimp dipped in stale beer and hot mayonnaise. Let it sit in your mouth for no less than five minutes; work it into your teeth. This one works from a long way out. Try it in a room full of women and see if any react -- more than likely those who do won't be classy but they'll be moved by a memory long since buried that only the rancid smell of dried mud can recover. If that memory is a pleasant one -- and often it is not -- you are in business, my friend.
Or, my favorite:
Recipe #6: The Animal Lover
Who hasn't seen a beautiful woman come to her knees at the sight of a cute puppy? Oh how I've envied that puppy from time to time. [...] Anyway... what is it about dogs that gets the ladies? Can't be their looks, because most dogs look like a pork roast with eyeballs. [...] Anyway I realized women love dogs because of their breath. "Eat a bowl of dog food, Burgundy," I said to myself one night, and so I did, and sure enough it was like cheating. Women go nuts for dog breath. [...] When it comes to dog food I go right for the hard nuggets right out of a forty-pound bag. A handful will do you for the night.
Ha! Love it.
A must read for Will Ferrell fans... or just fans of the absurd and ridiculous.
