Healing Your Church Hurt: What To Do When You Still Love God But Have Been Wounded by His People
Author:
Genre: Christian Books & Bibles
Book Type: Paperback
Author:
Genre: Christian Books & Bibles
Book Type: Paperback
Helpful Score: 1
Stephen Mansfield, author of the book "Healing Your Church Hurt" (Barna), discusses the very necessary and practical art of forgiveness. Both a guidebook for those hurt by the Church and reminder to those hurt by anyone that God both requires and expects forgiveness in order to illustrate His Grace toward us.
Mansfield notes that each person, whether it be a spouse or a customer at Starbucks, has unbelievable potential set into motion by God. The potential to do beautiful things that is within any given person is astounding. And on the flipside, the potential to do the most evil, vile things, sometimes in the same breath, is also present in each and every one of us. We fall short of the Glory of God.
"Christianity is not the absence of stupidity and hurt. Christianity is the message of a God who uses our stupidity and hurt to make us what we are destined to be. It is the truth of a God who became like us in order to lift us from our smallness and spite and make us into people he is willing to call friends. In short, God is more honest about human nature than we are." ("Healing Your Church Hurt", Page 57)
People can build you up and tear you down with their words. Even in those words that are spoken purely for the purpose to injure, there is usually a grain of truth. Mansfield says that it's essential for us to find those grains of truth through our anger, as we are often angry not just at betrayal, but also at the pointing out of a truth we do not want to admit. Finding this iota of truth is the first step in preparing your heart to forgive.
What I appreciate about "Healing Your Church Hurt" is that, unlike many authors writing about forgiveness, Mansfield uses a Biblical model to illustrate what steps you can take to begin a path toward forgiveness. Most "forgivness" topical books are along the lines of, "God forgives us, so you need to forgive others." They don't tell you how to start going about that. I'm a practical gal and I need practical steps.
Mansfield offers three types of Biblical forgiveness in his book. The one that struck me was the concept of "aphiemi" or "to send away or set free". One method to begin to forgive is to use the scrapegoat model from Leviticus 16. Aaron, the High Priest, was to find a perfect specimin of goat and literally place the sins of Israel on the goat by placing his hands on the goat's head as he listed the sins. Then he sent the goat away in the wilderness, carrying the sins of the people with it.
In Christianity, Jesus was the goat who took the sins of the people away. Therefore, as a model for forgiveness, you can say (and I'm paraphrasing), "Lord, I understand that you love [this person]. I put [this person's] sin of [whatever] on you, knowing that [this person] is forgiven." And Mansfield encourages you to make a list of people who have wronged you and to pray this prayer over each item on that list individually.
There are other elements toward forgiveness, but the act of forgiving (and re-forgiving when our nature drudges up the hurt again) is a crucial element to us becoming whole people. As long as we allow others to steal our Joy, we cannot be whole people. Those people "own" that piece of us until we let it go. The process isn't easy but it is possible and it is a mandate from Christ and His apostles that we reconcile ourselves to others in order to be reconciled to God.
The message Mansfield gives is a powerful one. He went beyond what is normally seen in forgiveness books and Biblically layed out types of forgiveness, the importance of forgivness, and how to begin to practically approach Biblical forgiveness. For so many, church hurt drives them away and into the arms of something or someone less edifying. The hurt is an excuse to indulge. But if we follow the Bible we say we follow, the directions are spelled out in black and white. Forgiveness is not an option if we wish to be a whole Church or whole people.
Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book. The opinions expressed are my own and are not affected by the complimentary nature of the book.
Mansfield notes that each person, whether it be a spouse or a customer at Starbucks, has unbelievable potential set into motion by God. The potential to do beautiful things that is within any given person is astounding. And on the flipside, the potential to do the most evil, vile things, sometimes in the same breath, is also present in each and every one of us. We fall short of the Glory of God.
"Christianity is not the absence of stupidity and hurt. Christianity is the message of a God who uses our stupidity and hurt to make us what we are destined to be. It is the truth of a God who became like us in order to lift us from our smallness and spite and make us into people he is willing to call friends. In short, God is more honest about human nature than we are." ("Healing Your Church Hurt", Page 57)
People can build you up and tear you down with their words. Even in those words that are spoken purely for the purpose to injure, there is usually a grain of truth. Mansfield says that it's essential for us to find those grains of truth through our anger, as we are often angry not just at betrayal, but also at the pointing out of a truth we do not want to admit. Finding this iota of truth is the first step in preparing your heart to forgive.
What I appreciate about "Healing Your Church Hurt" is that, unlike many authors writing about forgiveness, Mansfield uses a Biblical model to illustrate what steps you can take to begin a path toward forgiveness. Most "forgivness" topical books are along the lines of, "God forgives us, so you need to forgive others." They don't tell you how to start going about that. I'm a practical gal and I need practical steps.
Mansfield offers three types of Biblical forgiveness in his book. The one that struck me was the concept of "aphiemi" or "to send away or set free". One method to begin to forgive is to use the scrapegoat model from Leviticus 16. Aaron, the High Priest, was to find a perfect specimin of goat and literally place the sins of Israel on the goat by placing his hands on the goat's head as he listed the sins. Then he sent the goat away in the wilderness, carrying the sins of the people with it.
In Christianity, Jesus was the goat who took the sins of the people away. Therefore, as a model for forgiveness, you can say (and I'm paraphrasing), "Lord, I understand that you love [this person]. I put [this person's] sin of [whatever] on you, knowing that [this person] is forgiven." And Mansfield encourages you to make a list of people who have wronged you and to pray this prayer over each item on that list individually.
There are other elements toward forgiveness, but the act of forgiving (and re-forgiving when our nature drudges up the hurt again) is a crucial element to us becoming whole people. As long as we allow others to steal our Joy, we cannot be whole people. Those people "own" that piece of us until we let it go. The process isn't easy but it is possible and it is a mandate from Christ and His apostles that we reconcile ourselves to others in order to be reconciled to God.
The message Mansfield gives is a powerful one. He went beyond what is normally seen in forgiveness books and Biblically layed out types of forgiveness, the importance of forgivness, and how to begin to practically approach Biblical forgiveness. For so many, church hurt drives them away and into the arms of something or someone less edifying. The hurt is an excuse to indulge. But if we follow the Bible we say we follow, the directions are spelled out in black and white. Forgiveness is not an option if we wish to be a whole Church or whole people.
Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book. The opinions expressed are my own and are not affected by the complimentary nature of the book.
