Helpful Score: 6
I listened to the unabridged audio version of Iris Johansen's newest book, "Deadlock." The premise sounded great: an archaeologist sent into war-torn countries to try and protect and preserve their cultural treasures.
What ruined this story for me was the horrible writing! I have no doubt that she lifted dialogue from quarreling siblings: "You have to stay here." "Don't boss me around, I'm coming with you!" "No, you can't come with me, I must protect you!" "I can protect myself, stop bossing me around!" "Alright, come on, but do exactly as I say." "Stop telling me what to do!" Every time a character says something, another character pops up to disagree with him/her. They fight about everything. Every.Single.Time.
Johansen also uses the phrase "Angel of Death" to describe Emily's impression of the hunky Garrett. Angel of Death...six, seven times.
Please. She also sets up a situation, and then magically resolves it. Garrett gets Emily a phony passport: "Here. I had this done (in the wilds of Pakistan or Siberia, while he was waiting). "This doesn't look like me; I have blonde hair and fair skin." "But if you had dark hair and dark skin, it would look just like you." "This will never work, I look nothing like this." "We'll just stop at the Theatrical Store on the way to the airport." Seriously. I know several Theatrical stores on the way to the airport. It's easy.
When they need to break into the bad guy's house...they go on the Internet, and find the layout of his house, a description of the alarm systems, where each is located and how it works. When they have to find the bad guy's car, in Russia, they get on the Internet and take over a spy satellite to pinpoint his location. Easy.
My daughter and I were stuck in the car for six hours, and this book made the time fly by. We were laughing hysterically or groaning in pain, or chanting "Angel...of...DEATH" in spooky voices. It's ten hours long, and neither one of us care to even finish the thing.
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What ruined this story for me was the horrible writing! I have no doubt that she lifted dialogue from quarreling siblings: "You have to stay here." "Don't boss me around, I'm coming with you!" "No, you can't come with me, I must protect you!" "I can protect myself, stop bossing me around!" "Alright, come on, but do exactly as I say." "Stop telling me what to do!" Every time a character says something, another character pops up to disagree with him/her. They fight about everything. Every.Single.Time.
Johansen also uses the phrase "Angel of Death" to describe Emily's impression of the hunky Garrett. Angel of Death...six, seven times.
Please. She also sets up a situation, and then magically resolves it. Garrett gets Emily a phony passport: "Here. I had this done (in the wilds of Pakistan or Siberia, while he was waiting). "This doesn't look like me; I have blonde hair and fair skin." "But if you had dark hair and dark skin, it would look just like you." "This will never work, I look nothing like this." "We'll just stop at the Theatrical Store on the way to the airport." Seriously. I know several Theatrical stores on the way to the airport. It's easy.
When they need to break into the bad guy's house...they go on the Internet, and find the layout of his house, a description of the alarm systems, where each is located and how it works. When they have to find the bad guy's car, in Russia, they get on the Internet and take over a spy satellite to pinpoint his location. Easy.
My daughter and I were stuck in the car for six hours, and this book made the time fly by. We were laughing hysterically or groaning in pain, or chanting "Angel...of...DEATH" in spooky voices. It's ten hours long, and neither one of us care to even finish the thing.
Save your credits.
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