The Alchemy of Love and Lust
Author:
Genres: Health, Fitness & Dieting, Religion & Spirituality, Medicine
Book Type: Paperback
Author:
Genres: Health, Fitness & Dieting, Religion & Spirituality, Medicine
Book Type: Paperback
This book features some interesting information about hormones in humans and animals, and the sorts of behaviours caused and influenced by these, but the author is clearly uneducated about human psychology and offers nothing of substance when it comes to understanding interpersonal relationships. The book is quite dated in terms of social commentary (published in 1996, and it shows it).
The author is all about "brain sex", making all sorts of naive and specious claims about why women do this and why men do that, which, as it turns out, are not actually the result of hormones, but of socialisation.
For example, she claims that the reason many women have rape fantasies is because of estrogen, and not because of of the rape culture we live in (the fact being that at least 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted by a man in their lifetime). It gets pretty offensive. As another example, she states that when a woman loses interest in sex with her husband, due to the natural hormonal changes accompanying the recent birth of her child, she should just suck it up and let him do whatever he wants, instead of suggesting to the infantile husband that he should stop being jealous of his newborn child, and that not having sex for six months while his wife breastfeeds the baby is not actually going to kill him (and maybe he could even try parenting and pampering his exhausted wife during this time? Wow, what a concept!).
She also claims that male violence is caused by testosterone, and is therefore inevitable and natural, rather than a pandemic social problem caused by a worldwide culture of misogyny that we do, in fact, have the power to change.
Here are some choice quotes from the text:
"Almost everyone masturbates and almost everyone feels bad about it."
Do we, really? Hmmm.
"[Testosterone] increases assertiveness and self-confidence."
Actually, being raised with male privilege, rather than female oppression, is responsible for this.
"Indeed, [romance novels] are not just a read, but a physiological thrill, a borrowed romance, not unlike men using prostitutes (but without the risk, of course)."
I could write reams about how utterly awful this statement is, but suffice it to say that comparing living female victims of trafficking/prostitution to a wad of printed paper, as being equally deserving of being "used" for a "physiological thrill", is absolutely repulsive and sickening. And her suggestion that the individual experiencing the "risk" when a man buys a woman (or child's) body for abuse, is the MAN... well, I guess she knows nothing about PTSD or the horrific physical injuries sustained by the women and child victims of prostitution.
Continuing on her brainless theme:
"Many women object to men's enjoyment of such explicit sexual material [pornography, and buying prostitutes]. Yet they would be appalled if anyone suggested romance novels be banned."
GEE, Ms. Author, I WONDER why women see a difference between a fictional story and actual, living women and children being violently raped by men on camera/for cash? What a conundrum! Those gosh darn prude women are so DUMB and CONFUSING, aren't they?
On less serious topics:
"Some animals, notably the gibbon, have a glaringly obvious sex skin that they proudly flash."
Yet another ridiculous statement that has no basis in reality. She is probably thinking of mandrills or baboons, not gibbons. She does this a lot throughout the book. It's obvious she doesn't know what she's talking about half the time, and this makes for angering reading for an educated person.
She does get into the fact that women and men are raised very differently, but she does not possess even a mediocre understanding of the causes or results of this basic truth. She somehow has the ability to hold both of the following thoughts at the same time: A. Testosterone causes male violence, and B. A lack of appropriate touch, gentleness, and affection results in excessive aggressiveness and violent behaviour in boys (and then men). Which is it? (Hint: It's much, much more B than A. We are failing our boys, and therefore our girls as well!)
For anyone who is familiar with feminist theory or human psychology, this book is sorely lacking in factual content. It's full of anecdotes (with no citations!) and lots of little 'ideas' the author has come up with, which sound nice to her, but which don't correspond with anything that actually exists. I would strongly recommend reading some Andrea Dworkin alongside this book, if you choose to read this one at all, and compare the two. There are vast chunks of logic missing here.
Conclusion: A fascinating subject handled by an average (or even slightly below-average mind). An "M.D." after one's name does not imply intelligence.
The author is all about "brain sex", making all sorts of naive and specious claims about why women do this and why men do that, which, as it turns out, are not actually the result of hormones, but of socialisation.
For example, she claims that the reason many women have rape fantasies is because of estrogen, and not because of of the rape culture we live in (the fact being that at least 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted by a man in their lifetime). It gets pretty offensive. As another example, she states that when a woman loses interest in sex with her husband, due to the natural hormonal changes accompanying the recent birth of her child, she should just suck it up and let him do whatever he wants, instead of suggesting to the infantile husband that he should stop being jealous of his newborn child, and that not having sex for six months while his wife breastfeeds the baby is not actually going to kill him (and maybe he could even try parenting and pampering his exhausted wife during this time? Wow, what a concept!).
She also claims that male violence is caused by testosterone, and is therefore inevitable and natural, rather than a pandemic social problem caused by a worldwide culture of misogyny that we do, in fact, have the power to change.
Here are some choice quotes from the text:
"Almost everyone masturbates and almost everyone feels bad about it."
Do we, really? Hmmm.
"[Testosterone] increases assertiveness and self-confidence."
Actually, being raised with male privilege, rather than female oppression, is responsible for this.
"Indeed, [romance novels] are not just a read, but a physiological thrill, a borrowed romance, not unlike men using prostitutes (but without the risk, of course)."
I could write reams about how utterly awful this statement is, but suffice it to say that comparing living female victims of trafficking/prostitution to a wad of printed paper, as being equally deserving of being "used" for a "physiological thrill", is absolutely repulsive and sickening. And her suggestion that the individual experiencing the "risk" when a man buys a woman (or child's) body for abuse, is the MAN... well, I guess she knows nothing about PTSD or the horrific physical injuries sustained by the women and child victims of prostitution.
Continuing on her brainless theme:
"Many women object to men's enjoyment of such explicit sexual material [pornography, and buying prostitutes]. Yet they would be appalled if anyone suggested romance novels be banned."
GEE, Ms. Author, I WONDER why women see a difference between a fictional story and actual, living women and children being violently raped by men on camera/for cash? What a conundrum! Those gosh darn prude women are so DUMB and CONFUSING, aren't they?
On less serious topics:
"Some animals, notably the gibbon, have a glaringly obvious sex skin that they proudly flash."
Yet another ridiculous statement that has no basis in reality. She is probably thinking of mandrills or baboons, not gibbons. She does this a lot throughout the book. It's obvious she doesn't know what she's talking about half the time, and this makes for angering reading for an educated person.
She does get into the fact that women and men are raised very differently, but she does not possess even a mediocre understanding of the causes or results of this basic truth. She somehow has the ability to hold both of the following thoughts at the same time: A. Testosterone causes male violence, and B. A lack of appropriate touch, gentleness, and affection results in excessive aggressiveness and violent behaviour in boys (and then men). Which is it? (Hint: It's much, much more B than A. We are failing our boys, and therefore our girls as well!)
For anyone who is familiar with feminist theory or human psychology, this book is sorely lacking in factual content. It's full of anecdotes (with no citations!) and lots of little 'ideas' the author has come up with, which sound nice to her, but which don't correspond with anything that actually exists. I would strongly recommend reading some Andrea Dworkin alongside this book, if you choose to read this one at all, and compare the two. There are vast chunks of logic missing here.
Conclusion: A fascinating subject handled by an average (or even slightly below-average mind). An "M.D." after one's name does not imply intelligence.
