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Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide (Updated)
Whatever You Do Don't Run True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide - Updated Author:Peter Allison A hilarious, highly original collection of essays based on the Botswana truism: “only food runs!” With a new introduction and new material from the author — In the tradition of Bill Bryson, a new writer brings us the lively adventures and biting wit of an African safari guide. Peter Allison gives us the guide’s-eye... more » view of living in the bush, confronting the world’s fiercest terrain of wild animals and, most challenging of all, managing herds of gaping tourists. Passionate for the animals of the Kalahari, Allison works as a top safari guide in the wildlife-rich Okavango Delta. As he serves the whims of his wealthy clients, he often has to stop the impulse to run as far away from them as he can, as these tourists are sometimes more dangerous than a pride of lions.
No one could make up these outrageous-but-true tales: the young woman who rejected the recommended safari-friendly khaki to wear a more “fashionable” hot pink ensemble; the lost tourist who happened to be drunk, half-naked, and a member of the British royal family; establishing a real friendship with the continent’s most vicious animal; the Japanese tourist who requested a repeat performance of Allison’s being charged by a lion so he could videotape it; and spending a crazy night in the wild after blowing a tire on a tour bus, revealing that Allison has as much good-natured scorn for himself.
The author’s humor is exceeded only by his love and respect for the animals, and his goal is to limit any negative exposure to humans by planning trips that are minimally invasive—unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way!
New story: People often ask safari guides about the experience that frightened them the most. In this story Peter Allison tells of the time he became aware of unseen danger, and knew that somewhere within meters of him was a hunting lioness.
Whatever You Do, Don't Run; The Lesson; How I Got My Name; The Great Mouse Plague; Deliverance; Buffalo School; Learning to Walk Again; Princesses and Jacks; Pets; The Drowning; The Chase; The World's Worst Bathroom; Scars; Khama: A Love Story; Beau Goes Back to Nature; Mona Lisa; Bird Nerds; The Fool and the Snake; Lost; The Conversation; A Guide Dies; A Night in the Madgkadigkadi; Ya-ya and Tsetse; A Friend in Hand; Bad Actors; Bale and the Snake; Encounters with Salvador; Big Mistake. A Line in the Sand« less