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The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study
The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce The 25 Year Landmark Study Author:Julia M. Lewis, Sandra Blakeslee Twenty-five years ago, Judith Wallerstein began talking to a group of 131 children whose parents were all going through a divorce. She asked them to tell her about the intimate details of their lives, which they did with remarkable candor. Having earned their trust, Wallerstein was rewarded with a deeply moving portrait of each of their liv... more »es as she followed them from childhood, through their adolescent struggles, and into adulthood. With The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, Wallerstein offers us the only close-up study of divorce ever conducted -- a unique report that will change our fundamental beliefs about divorce and offer new hope for the future. Wallerstein chooses seven children who most embody the common life experiences of the larger group and follows their lives in vivid detail through adolescence and into their love affairs, their marriage successes and failures, and parenting their own children. In Wallerstein's hands, the experiences and anxieties of this generation of children, now in their late twenties to early forties, come to life. We watch as they struggle with the fear that their relationships will fail like those of their parents. Lacking an internal template of what a successful relationship looks like, they must invent their own codes of behavior in a culture that offers many models and few guidelines. Wallerstein shows how many over-came their dread of betrayal to find loving partners and to become successful, protective parents -- and how others are still struggling to find their heart's desire without knowing why they feel so frightened. She also demonstrates their great strengths and accomplishments, as a generation of survivors who often had to raise themselves and help their parents through difficult times. For the first time, using a comparison group of adults who grew up in the same communities, Wallerstein shows how adult children of divorce essentially view life differently from their peers raised in intact homes where parents also confronted marital difficulties but decided on balance to stay together. In this way she sheds light on the question so many parents confront -- whether to stay unhappily married or to divorce. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce should be essential reading for all adult children of divorce, their lovers, their partners, divorced parents or those considering divorce, judges, attorneys, and mental health professionals. Challenging some of our most cherished beliefs, this is a book that will forever alter how we think about divorce and its long-term impact on American society. « less
Astrid R. reviewed The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study on
An excellent book- I read it from front to back, no problem. It is an amazing account of divorce and the effects on the children involved. I recommend it for anyone who is a child of divorce. I read it before I got married- I told my husband-to-be that if he wanted to know how I ticked, he should read it too.
Book reads like a compelling novel. A courageous and objective confrontation of the aftermath of divorce as it affects children from childhood to adulthood. A must for anyone dealing personally or professionally with the issue of divorce. ....
This book was recommended to me by a friend. I had no interest in reading it but it kept coming to my mind. Finally I got ahold of it and it was an eye opener. As a child of divorce, this book helped me understand things about myself I didn't know. It also really solidified my desire to keep my own marriage healthy. Very insightful.
This is a great book. From the perspective of a child who went through 2 divorces - one as a young child and one as a teenager. It has helped me come to terms with a lot of the issues I never thought I had. Highly recommend for both children of divorce and parents who have divorced to help you help your children through this difficult time.
