Christin R. (raksha38) reviewed Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain on + 203 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 4
I read this even though I dang well know better than to read triggering books like this when Im really stressed out and having anxiety attacks like I was the other day. Brilliant move, self. So be warnd, if that's an issue for you.
I think the fact that this book was so triggering is actually an indicator of how good it is. If Portias writing wasnt so engaging and she wasnt so unflinchingly honest, I wouldnt have been able to connect with it and see so much of myself in it, which is what set me off. At one point, she was talking about her food diary and how she didnt just keep track of food and calories, but also writes abusive notes to herself in it to motivate her. She said one of those notes was YOU ARE A FAT UGLY DYKE and I had to set the book down and walk away for a bit. That was my food diary in highschool, exactly.
What I think this book does very well is plainly show the way an eating disordered persons mind works. You can see how its not just about food and weight, its about the crushing feeling of not measuring up, failure, and disappointment in all areas of life. But at the same time, its not just one thing they can control like a lot of people (even therapists) try to reduce eating disorders down to. Yes, its about all that other stuff, but it is also about weight and eating, really and truly. Our culture is monumentally screwed up about weight and appearance. That has an effect. It means something very powerful in our culture when a woman is whittled down to nothing and its rewarded in a lot of ways. Its not just some crazy coincidence that all this other anxiety and self-hatred just happens to manifest as an obsession with weight loss. I think Portias writing makes very clear both elements of this disease.
I think the fact that this book was so triggering is actually an indicator of how good it is. If Portias writing wasnt so engaging and she wasnt so unflinchingly honest, I wouldnt have been able to connect with it and see so much of myself in it, which is what set me off. At one point, she was talking about her food diary and how she didnt just keep track of food and calories, but also writes abusive notes to herself in it to motivate her. She said one of those notes was YOU ARE A FAT UGLY DYKE and I had to set the book down and walk away for a bit. That was my food diary in highschool, exactly.
What I think this book does very well is plainly show the way an eating disordered persons mind works. You can see how its not just about food and weight, its about the crushing feeling of not measuring up, failure, and disappointment in all areas of life. But at the same time, its not just one thing they can control like a lot of people (even therapists) try to reduce eating disorders down to. Yes, its about all that other stuff, but it is also about weight and eating, really and truly. Our culture is monumentally screwed up about weight and appearance. That has an effect. It means something very powerful in our culture when a woman is whittled down to nothing and its rewarded in a lot of ways. Its not just some crazy coincidence that all this other anxiety and self-hatred just happens to manifest as an obsession with weight loss. I think Portias writing makes very clear both elements of this disease.
Barbara S. (barbelaine1) reviewed Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain on + 47 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 4
If you are expecting to get any insight into Ally McBeal or Ellen, forget it. This was a few hundred pages of what Portia ate, or more likely, didn't eat. The disease is horrible. But frankly, I couldn't garner much sympathy for her. Her disdain of fat people, her self-absorption, well...it just didn't do it for me.
Was really looking forward to reading this book. I finally gave up about half way through. It just went on and on with the same thing. It just seemed like it was the same chapter over and over with just a slight change. Just wasn't what I was expecting.
Helpful Score: 1
Very gripping. Not a dull moment. I loved this book. Bravo Portia for such honesty and courage.
Maybe it is because I have never suffered from an eating disorder, but I ended up not being able to finish the book due to the fact that it became draining on me to read such negativity. This, of course, is just personal preference. Others might find this book inspiring and perhaps easy to relate to, but I, however, just couldn't make it through the book. I think I thought it would have a little more gain in the book, than what I felt seemed to focus a little too much on the loss. She is a very good story teller though. It never became boring to read. Like I said, I just didn't prefer reading such negative thoughts.
Gisele H. (gisele) reviewed Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain on + 10 more book reviews
"Unbearable Lightness" is an intimate, honest, raw, powerful portrait of a successful Hollywood actress who almost killed herself in her obsessive quest for physival perfection to fit into our society's mold of what a young pretty woman should look like. At first simply wishing to fit into wardrobe sample sizes without embarrassment, Portia severely restricted her caloric intake, then was caught in cycles of binging and purging until, weighing merely 82 lbs, she could no longer function without debilitating joint pain. Diagnosed with lupus, she realized how close she was to dying and bravely chose to live. As she closely self-examined her motivation and saw how unattainable, unnecessary, and exhausting her need to be skinny was, she strove to replace her well-established, time-consuming destructive habits with a new way of life, which included counseling and medication, plus physical activities such as horse riding, walking, and learning to fly, but never again regimented exercise and calorie-counting dieting. Finally unafraid to be her natural lesbian self after making peace with her very private mother and dead father, Portia found happiness and fulfillment with her loving wife Ellen.
Portia is lucky to be alive. It is a well-written story about her experiences with food. I'm surprised she was able to get through it as easily as it seems she has. I wish her well.
This isn't a "how to" recovery book. It is her journey. I think that is a positive part of the book. It describes it, but seemingly a bit at a distance.
This isn't a "how to" recovery book. It is her journey. I think that is a positive part of the book. It describes it, but seemingly a bit at a distance.
Kristin D. (kdurham2813) reviewed Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain on + 753 more book reviews
Portia de Rossi is known for portraying hard, self-confident women in tv shows, but in reality she lived a life lacking of self confidence and fighting internal demons. As I wasn't aware of Portia de Rossi until she was out and dating Ellen, most of this story was completely new to me and very interesting.
Interesting to say the least that this now proud gay woman who is married to an outspoken lesbian, there were some moments where I was ready for her to meet Ellen and her life to start changing! There were quite a few pages devoted to the body issues she was having and the means with which she was manipulating her exercise or eating habits to achieve what she thought would be the perfect body. I am not sure this was touched on enough, but I think a big part of her issues started with the modeling at a young age and a mother who supported a 12 year old dieting. I wish she had put more detail into the mother/daughter relationship and how that probably brought her to the issues she was trying to overcome.
Overall a great celebrity book, that I would recommend to readers who are interested in reading the details of how Portia de Rossi came onto the Hollywood scene and the things that she hide from the outside world.
Interesting to say the least that this now proud gay woman who is married to an outspoken lesbian, there were some moments where I was ready for her to meet Ellen and her life to start changing! There were quite a few pages devoted to the body issues she was having and the means with which she was manipulating her exercise or eating habits to achieve what she thought would be the perfect body. I am not sure this was touched on enough, but I think a big part of her issues started with the modeling at a young age and a mother who supported a 12 year old dieting. I wish she had put more detail into the mother/daughter relationship and how that probably brought her to the issues she was trying to overcome.
Overall a great celebrity book, that I would recommend to readers who are interested in reading the details of how Portia de Rossi came onto the Hollywood scene and the things that she hide from the outside world.
The courageous story of Portia and her fight with her eating disorder along with her recognizing being gay. The book deals with her struggle with weight and what she put her body through on her quest to reach that 'perfect' weight so she would be considered 'pretty' or 'acceptable'. It is not about her being gay but just the fact she stayed in the closet because she knew it wouldn't be acceptable in Hollywood and would destroy her career.
More of a book for someone with an eating disorder that maybe they will recognize themselves and seek the help they need.
More of a book for someone with an eating disorder that maybe they will recognize themselves and seek the help they need.
This book will help other battling eating disorders. That said I wish it had more then a chapter on her getting well, since it did not happen overnight but seemed like it. well written.
Amber C. (lemontea) -
Portia writes beautifully. She draws you in to the loss-of-reason with her, and brings you safely back out again. If you've ever suffered an ED, I recommend this: you will likely find a lot of yourself in this book. But the most salient point is that, so long as you can get to the end of the book, you can make it through the narrative without triggering--
at the end of the story, Portia is in love. Happy with herself. Has hope. It's infinitely uplifting.
Throughout the writing, I heard echoes of myself that called out for me to lose my senses a little. The crux of this book's effectiveness lies in that it is truthful enough to draw you into Portia's mindset-- her convictions about food, about the lack of food, about body and self-- and, ultimately, instructive enough that you realize how dangerous the inclination to give into your demons is. Finally, Portia's story allows you the hope of a similarly happy place in your future. To get as low as she did, and still come out shining, is breathtaking.
Particularly for those of you who have had difficulty with hiding a part of your identity while at the same time coping with eating disorders: read this.
at the end of the story, Portia is in love. Happy with herself. Has hope. It's infinitely uplifting.
Throughout the writing, I heard echoes of myself that called out for me to lose my senses a little. The crux of this book's effectiveness lies in that it is truthful enough to draw you into Portia's mindset-- her convictions about food, about the lack of food, about body and self-- and, ultimately, instructive enough that you realize how dangerous the inclination to give into your demons is. Finally, Portia's story allows you the hope of a similarly happy place in your future. To get as low as she did, and still come out shining, is breathtaking.
Particularly for those of you who have had difficulty with hiding a part of your identity while at the same time coping with eating disorders: read this.
I found this book compelling and deeply sad all at the same time. Well worth the read, especially if you have dealt with anorexia/bulimia/purging in your life.
Sharon C. (sierrastar) -
This book was so boring and I ended up donating it to a book drive. I did not expect a gossipy book about anyone but Portia and maybe how it affected her married life with the problems her disorder might have caused. It was definitly a dissapointment
could not finish this book.
