The book was a paperback by a female author, published anywhere from the late 80's to late 90's. Basically, it's about a girl who lives on a peaceful planet in a time of interplanetary tension. To keep peace with one certain planet she is involved in an arranged marriage with a general of sorts, a man she has never met. She comes from a long line of female rulers who all have a gift to sense the emotions others are feeling. She is also very spiritual and very kind to everyone and everything. The differences of such a girl and war leader are obvious and so they are often at odds with one another, but there is a definite attraction there.

Unfortunately, that's all I remember, but I really wish to know the title/author because though it may sound cheesy, it was the first romance I ever read and I want to know what it was called. Thanks.

Something like that happens in The Quantum Rose, by Catherine Asaro.  It's not a perfect match to your description, but if you like that sort of book, The Quantum Rose could be a good read for you.