Vanessa L. (VanessaL) reviewed Perfection: a memoir of betrayal and renewal on + 26 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 13
I have to admit being torn about this book. On the one hand, I was riveted by it. I read it on our family beach vacation and couldn't put it down. But it was the kind of fascination you have for a car wreck on the side of the road. You know it's tragic -- not to mention none of your business -- yet you can't help rubbernecking. I was also deeply disturbed by the author. Again, I'm torn. On the one hand, I admired her honesty and could certainly relate to certain aspects of her plight. On the other hand, I just couldn't relate to her lack of focus on her daughter in the aftermath of her husband's death. Her overarching concern seemed to be not going more than a week without sex. Within weeks of her husband's death, she was in bed with a handsome young family friend -- after telling him she felt that her husband was trying to come to her sexually and she had a strong feeling that her husband's spirit wanted to use him as a surrogate to have sex with her. Well of course! As she plowed through weekend-long dates with one man after another, dropping her daughter like excess baggage with just about anyone in town, my sympathy ran dry. Even when her friends gently hinted that it may be time to focus a bit on her grieving daughter, she still didn't pull herself together, not even to drag herself out of bed to make a school lunch for the child. Meanwhile, she had no problem finding the energy for masturbation and new lovers.
Shannon T. (chippygirl) -
Helpful Score: 5
Normally, I wouldn't dream of reviewing a book I haven't finished. But I can't even stomach finishing this book as I find the author so distastful and vengeful.
The author and her young daughter lose their husband/father suddenly. The author later finds that the husband has carried on with a series of extramarital affairs throughout their relationship. About 2/3rd of the way through the book the author is still focused on the women the husband had affairs with, blaming them, calling them, sometimes harrasing them. Meanwhile, her daughters emotional needs seem to be neglected. At one point the author recalls that she knowingly slept with a married man, prior to her own marriage. Hello?? It sounds to me as if two perfectly matched narcissists found each other, married, one passed, now the other is out for revenge.
The full title is Perfection, A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal. I will be missing the renewal part of the book, because I'm not able to finish this one.
The author and her young daughter lose their husband/father suddenly. The author later finds that the husband has carried on with a series of extramarital affairs throughout their relationship. About 2/3rd of the way through the book the author is still focused on the women the husband had affairs with, blaming them, calling them, sometimes harrasing them. Meanwhile, her daughters emotional needs seem to be neglected. At one point the author recalls that she knowingly slept with a married man, prior to her own marriage. Hello?? It sounds to me as if two perfectly matched narcissists found each other, married, one passed, now the other is out for revenge.
The full title is Perfection, A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal. I will be missing the renewal part of the book, because I'm not able to finish this one.
Helpful Score: 1
I read some of the other reviews of this book and found, for the most part, all were quite positive. The book kept my attention for the most part but I did find myself speed reading through parts because I found it quite repetitive. I found myself wondering why Ms. Metz would want to bare her soul to the world in such a way and why she couldn't move on and wanted to keep her emotions so raw by digging into the past in such a way. I don't feel she had anything to hide and, from personal experience I know sometimes anger and grief need release, perhaps this was her release. It is obvious she felt her betrayal quite deeply and couldn't move on until she had excised it from her soul. I hope her daughter is much more resilient than her mom since all this drama, starting at the age of 6, must have been very confusing and upsetting for her to experience, the father's death, her mother's angst, depression and anger must have been hard for her to understand.
Overall, I liked the book but it was painful to read in parts and I felt for Ms. Metz.
Overall, I liked the book but it was painful to read in parts and I felt for Ms. Metz.
Helpful Score: 1
I eagerly anticipated reading this book--written by a fellow graphic designer who also lost her husband at a too-young age. Though the book was somewhat redeemed by a ending that felt right, I spent the first half of the book wondering how it even got published. Ms. Metz's life did seem perfect, but then came an enormous loss followed by betrayal. Horrible, but she did still have rest of her perfect life to fall back on--tons of devoted friends, good career, lovely child--Ms. Metz even lost weight during the ordeal!
Much like Amy Dickinson's 'Mighty Queens of Freeville,' this book would have made a good magazine story, but fleshed out into a full-length book, it feels too self-indulgent.
One last thing--I was surprised that Ms. Metz, a book-cover designer, didn't design the cover of this edition.
Much like Amy Dickinson's 'Mighty Queens of Freeville,' this book would have made a good magazine story, but fleshed out into a full-length book, it feels too self-indulgent.
One last thing--I was surprised that Ms. Metz, a book-cover designer, didn't design the cover of this edition.
