Memories of a NonJewish Childhood Author:Robert Byrne It was just Tommy Shannon's luck that Gretchen Schwartz was receiving communion the morning he made his debut as an altar boy. He knew he was in trouble when he saw her kneeling at the communion railing without a stitch on. — Everyone else at Mass that morning saw Gretchen Schwartz as acne-ridden, buck-toothed, and fully clothed. But to Tommy... more », Gretchen was forever naked, for Tommy Shannon had the richest, fullest, most erotic fantasy life of any thirteen-year old boy who ever went to St. Procopius. Getting a ”good Catholic education” in Dubuque, lowa, brought Tommy a series of awesome confrontations: with Sister Raphael (Steiglutz, the Mad Bitch of Berchsdorff); Father Grundy (the kindly old priest who administered the hardest blow Tommy ever suffered from a member of the religious orders); Hank Clancy (who felt dishonored by Tommy's method of celebrating the Mass); and Sister Mary Don Bosco (who feared Tommy would burn in the flames of hell and disgrace the school by committing suicide).
Woven into this hilarious spate of boyhood misadventures is the dramatic story of Pfc. Paul Shannon, Tommy's big brother, ”who had swept across North Africa, captured Sicily, and was now occupying Naples with Mark Clark and the rest of the United States Fifth Army.” lt was Paul's painful discovery of manhood and his poignant homecoming that changed Tommy's carefree, mischievous life. « less