Olga J. (bolgai) reviewed MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend on + 109 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 3
The curse of the introvert is that while I enjoy spending time with people I know, getting there (aka making friends) is a challenge. I frequently wonder how some people go from barely acquaintances to friends in no time with zero awkwardness and lately I've been thinking about the general subject of friendship more than usual. So when a friend gushed about this book I jumped at the chance to read it - here's someone asking the same questions and apparently she has answers!
Rachel's memoir is not just a collection of amusing anecdotes about her 52 new girl-dates in search of friends. She's also done some research on the subject of friendship and the narrative is liberally sprinkled with references to books and articles on the subject as well as summaries of her interviews with experts. This did give the book more of a dry air of an almost scientific article than I would have preferred but at least we know without a doubt that the author has thoroughly done her homework! She is also letting us into her life outside the friend-search, giving us a glimpse of how hew new husband was dealing with the whole thing (from what I can tell Rachel better hang on to her Matt, hes a keeper), her existing friends' and family's support, and her own analysis of herself and her quest throughout the year. Its interesting to see the transformation of her wish list for the perfect friend from tentative to defined and grounded in the present and her transformation from a young woman seeking companionship to a young woman who has much to offer not only to a potential friend but also to herself.
I really enjoyed reading Rachels insights into what it takes to build a friendship, her take on our culture where admitting that you are looking for friends is tantamount to admitting that you are a weirdo looser, and her thoughts about ones spouse being ones best friend (or not). I can relate to her nervousness starting out on this adventure and applaud her for not leaving a stone unturned, and for turning into a yes-woman of friend-making in the name of having a social life, which is obviously very important to her.
While I wouldnt want to repeat Rachels experiment (exhausting doesnt even begin to cover my impression of the commitment she made over the course of that year) many of the lessons she learned I would like to apply to my own life. After all, when has it hurt to have more friends?
Rachel's memoir is not just a collection of amusing anecdotes about her 52 new girl-dates in search of friends. She's also done some research on the subject of friendship and the narrative is liberally sprinkled with references to books and articles on the subject as well as summaries of her interviews with experts. This did give the book more of a dry air of an almost scientific article than I would have preferred but at least we know without a doubt that the author has thoroughly done her homework! She is also letting us into her life outside the friend-search, giving us a glimpse of how hew new husband was dealing with the whole thing (from what I can tell Rachel better hang on to her Matt, hes a keeper), her existing friends' and family's support, and her own analysis of herself and her quest throughout the year. Its interesting to see the transformation of her wish list for the perfect friend from tentative to defined and grounded in the present and her transformation from a young woman seeking companionship to a young woman who has much to offer not only to a potential friend but also to herself.
I really enjoyed reading Rachels insights into what it takes to build a friendship, her take on our culture where admitting that you are looking for friends is tantamount to admitting that you are a weirdo looser, and her thoughts about ones spouse being ones best friend (or not). I can relate to her nervousness starting out on this adventure and applaud her for not leaving a stone unturned, and for turning into a yes-woman of friend-making in the name of having a social life, which is obviously very important to her.
While I wouldnt want to repeat Rachels experiment (exhausting doesnt even begin to cover my impression of the commitment she made over the course of that year) many of the lessons she learned I would like to apply to my own life. After all, when has it hurt to have more friends?
Kristin D. (kdurham2813) reviewed MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend on + 753 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 3
Sometimes I can connect with books on a personal level, but this book hit straight to my heart and at times I was wondering whether she was talking about herself or me! I too recently moved for my significant other and yes, I have my mom and a cousin who is close to my age in town, but I do not have the friend group that I had back in Charlotte.
Rachel uses many different ways to meet people - speed friending, professional friend matcher and even a religious group meeting. I am not sure I could use all her tactics, but I loved how her confidence in talking to strangers grew; it made me want to start random chats with people I pass each day. Her struggle with keeping her new marriage a priority with this endeavor to find new friends was refreshing because many women (myself included) struggle with placing the people in their lives in a priority line up.
A perfect book for those in their late twenties, who do not have kids to make easy connections to new friends. The book clubs, the friends of friends and co-workers as friends have all been things that I have done in the past and continue to do to make lasting friendships in this new city that we live in.
Rachel uses many different ways to meet people - speed friending, professional friend matcher and even a religious group meeting. I am not sure I could use all her tactics, but I loved how her confidence in talking to strangers grew; it made me want to start random chats with people I pass each day. Her struggle with keeping her new marriage a priority with this endeavor to find new friends was refreshing because many women (myself included) struggle with placing the people in their lives in a priority line up.
A perfect book for those in their late twenties, who do not have kids to make easy connections to new friends. The book clubs, the friends of friends and co-workers as friends have all been things that I have done in the past and continue to do to make lasting friendships in this new city that we live in.
Maureen (Missy1019) reviewed MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend on + 104 more book reviews
Think Sex and the City, if Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big left New York with her three girlfriends behind, what would she do without them? This is a true story of Rachel Bertsche, a writer herself, who moves to Chicago with her husband, on the search for new friends. MWF Seeking BFF, or Married White Female Seeking Best Friend Forever, is Rachels personal memoir of her yearlong search for a best friend. She dissects the friendship element and shares a lot of research toward understanding the psychological makeup of friends. According to Robin Dunbar, an anthropologist, the size of the brain determines the number of relationships we can maintain. The human brain can maintain 150 relationships. After calculating her social network of friends, families, and acquaintances, Rachel comes up short 20 people. She decides to fill the 20 spots with this yearlong project to find a best friend that rivals her best friends back home.
I found the story quite enjoyable, as she describes the weekly dates and the friends she meets along the way.
Rachel writes in a captivating way, sharing some very humorous stories along the way. The same way that dating is set up, she goes on friend date after friend date, with most dates fizzling out. 365 friend dates is a lot of people to meet and toward the middle of the story, it was difficult to keep track of who she has gone out with to the point that all the people she met became a blur. I ponder if the feelings were mutual in who she connected with since it was written from one perspective. If it had not been for the research and professional people she consults with, the story would not have survived. I found the book to be thought provoking rooting for her and wondering if she achieves her goal by the end of the story. Dating is difficult enough but bonding to find friends gets harder in this day and age with social networking and the internet. Without a friendship manual available, meeting friends after college becomes a difficult task. I can relate to a lot of what she experiences and commend her for going outside of the norm to find friends. This book is recommended for every female who has a need to connect with others and yearns to find that best friend.
I found the story quite enjoyable, as she describes the weekly dates and the friends she meets along the way.
Rachel writes in a captivating way, sharing some very humorous stories along the way. The same way that dating is set up, she goes on friend date after friend date, with most dates fizzling out. 365 friend dates is a lot of people to meet and toward the middle of the story, it was difficult to keep track of who she has gone out with to the point that all the people she met became a blur. I ponder if the feelings were mutual in who she connected with since it was written from one perspective. If it had not been for the research and professional people she consults with, the story would not have survived. I found the book to be thought provoking rooting for her and wondering if she achieves her goal by the end of the story. Dating is difficult enough but bonding to find friends gets harder in this day and age with social networking and the internet. Without a friendship manual available, meeting friends after college becomes a difficult task. I can relate to a lot of what she experiences and commend her for going outside of the norm to find friends. This book is recommended for every female who has a need to connect with others and yearns to find that best friend.
Ramona M. (Grazona) reviewed MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend on + 119 more book reviews
This book had been on my To Read least for a year so I was extremely excited to finally get it from my local library. I started reading it and disliked it immediately. I was so disappointed I almost cried! I got about 20 pages in and decided to skim through the rest to see if the tone changed but it didn't. I liked the concept here but what I didn't like was the author's desperation and how she was so forceful about making new friends. I've also made a long distance move for a significant other and years later made a cross country move all by myself. I understand the desire for friends but I also believe in the power of The Universe bringing people into our lives and also the power of the choices we make (by the hobbies we choose, the job we take, etc) leading us to people who are right for us. I also firmly believe that the loneliness and the longing for friends is part of the journey. Learning to lean on yourself more (and/or your partner) is a HUGE part of life and growing as a person. The author was desperate to skip over that and I found that came across sad and not enjoyable to read at all.
Terri K. (blondie1000) reviewed MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend on + 11 more book reviews
Interesting read with several facts on benefits of having friends interwoven into Rachel Bertsche's search for a BFF. The book gets a bit repetitive. How much can a person say about each and every "girl" date they go on and why seeking a BFF doesn't just happen. I would have really enjoyed it had the book been about 75 pages fewer
