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Going Off: A Guide for Black Women Who'Ve Just About Had Enough
Going Off A Guide for Black Women Who'Ve Just About Had Enough Author:Faye Childs, Noreen Palmer Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your anger? Do you find yourself responding to irritating situations with sarcasm or do those moments slowly build until you brutally convey what's on your mind? Do you internalize your anger and try to ignore it, or do you find it sneaking up on you in eruptive bursts? What triggers your anger? When you finally d... more »ecide that you don't want to continue to live with your anger, are you then able to transcend it and use it as productive energy? Learning how to express anger constructively can be one of the hardest tasks for African-American women. They encounter the same issues as other women-family, friends, relationships, and sexism-but they also experience more difficult conflicts that are associated with being an African-American woman in our society. They are forced to confront others' stereotypes, disrespect, and discrimination, and their history of slavery continues to affect their present-day economic and social status. When Faye Childs and Noreen Palmer conducted a series of "Women and Anger" workshops in order to uncover what makes African-American women angry, they discovered entirely different anger patterns and methods of expression. This book is the culmination of their research and analysis and offers illuminating insight into how these women cope with anger, the serious and debilitating affects it can have upon their lives, and what they can do to express this anger effectively. "Going off" is a means of releasing pent-up anger, specific to African-American women, in an explosive outburst. Childs and Palmer found this type of angry behavior to be common among their workshop participants. But other women fell into the category of the "silent but strong" woman who represses her anger and puts up a strong front, stifling her feelings in the interest of maintaining harmony in her life. This woman suffers from the Invincible Black Woman syndrome, which can lead to low self-esteem, workaholic tendencies, depression, and ultimately serious health consequences. By tracing anger to its source, Childs and Palmer found that anger styles and traits are often formed in the childhood years. Frequently, a woman has a general anger that she lives with all the time with roots in her childhood or another past experience. Going Off identifies some of the most common anger triggers and the four anger styles: ( Authoritarian: difficulty seeing other's points of view or feelings
( High Profile: overly concerned with image, often displaying a strong front
( Pragmatic: a stable team player at risk of internalizing anger and going off after holding it in for long periods of time
( Intellectual: likes to be in control and feels threatened when criticized Going Off examines common scenarios that can lead to anger in friendships, romantic relationships, families, and the workplace. It suggests ways to diffuse your anger triggers by changing your perspective so that you can avoid the temptation to go off and can instead think about the situation rationally. It also helps you detect when you have fallen into the Invincible Black Woman syndrome, leading you on a path to recovery through gaining control over stressful situations, counseling, setting limits, and accepting support from others. Finding spiritual release through rituals, meditation, self-care, and forgiveness is the final tool for conquering negative anger patterns. With insight, empowering quotes, and spiritual reflections, Going Off is full of inspiration and hope.« less