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Everyone's Crazy Except You and Me...And I'm Not So Sure About You
Everyone's Crazy Except You and MeAnd I'm Not So Sure About You Author:Lionel ON TECHNOLOGY — We must have the one that's smaller, pinker, and, oh yes, cooler. Who cares that a cell phone is so small it has to be repeatedly slid from ear to mouth like a bad imitation of Toots Thielemans. There's no interest in utility or practicality. Look, cell phones can only get so small before they're an unusable trinket. I've got ... more »a Web browser on my BlackBerry. With a screen the size of a Junior Mint.
ON WOMEN
Women can have the vocabulary of a tree sloth for ordinary, run-of-the-mill words, but when it comes to colors, they have a genius for articulating the most incredible gradations of chromatic variation. Biscuit. Ecru. Buff. Fawn. Camel. Neutral. Caramel. Cinnamon. Coffee. Mushroom. Sand. Men have no clue as to what general groups those colors denote. Most men will have absolutely no idea that these are all words for...beige.
ON BARS
Everyone should have a bar. Their bar. Within stumbling distance, I might add. Not a fern bar. Not a chichi place, but a joint. A gin mill. A tavern. A barrelhouse. Taproom. Watering hole. Suds shop. A saloon with eau de Pine-Sol. A bartender who calls everyone "Mac."
ON KIDS TODAY
When I see kids today tooling about on their bikes with helmets, elbow and knee pads, Kevlar jumpsuits, and teh like, it makes me sad. When I see kids armored more heavily than a Humvee I am particularly sad, because it speaks to me of the wussification of America. And that's not a good thing.« less