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Adult Children of Divorce Speak Out: About Growing Up With and Moving Beyond Parental Divorce
Adult Children of Divorce Speak Out About Growing Up With and Moving Beyond Parental Divorce Author:Claire Berman "A hole in my heart" -- this is the phrase that, for adult children of divorce, commonly describes the parental divorce experience. It is a would that cannot ever be completely healed -- ahole in the heart. — Conducting extensive interviews with adult men and women -- ages ranging from mid-20s to mid-60s -- Claire Berman discovers what ... more »"divorce and after" looks like in retrospect to these chilren of divorce, how they might have handled the experience differently, and how they have been able to reconcile themselves to it and get on with their adult lives. Through the voices of these men and women, certain commonalities and patterns emerge. Adult children of divorce:
struggle with problems of self-esteem
see their sexuality as a matter of concern
feel a strong need to control
have difficulty committing to relationships
repeat the patterns of their parents, including divorce
Many adult children of divorce have also learned to re-examine the experience and develop a strong sense of:
independence
ambition
optimism
committment
empathy
Through the interviews, paths to moving beyond the divorce experience and leading healthy adult lives emerge: confronting and letting go of anger; relying on significant others for support; learning to manage conflict; demystifying the past; and forgiving one's parents and reconnecting with them.
Adult Children of Divorce Speak Out enables all those who have experienced the divorce of their parents to feel they are not alone in their feelings and reponses. It helps spouses and loved ones of these adults to better understand their mates and work through barriers created by the earlier divorce. Finally, concerned parents currently considering divorce will use this book as a guide to divorce management, learning which actions during the trauma are of help and which are the most harmful. For all those touched by divorce, Claire Berman has written a profound and valuable gift.« less